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A Woman Like Me

I grew up in a world where most people looked like me. I watched the world change while women evolved and did extraordinary things. These women also looked like me.

I admired Barbara Walters sitting next to Hugh Downs co-anchoring the news and looked forward to her numerous one on one interviews for the infamous Barbara Walters Specials. Geraldine Ferraro was the selected VP choice of Walter Mondale while I was in high school. The excitement around the historic moment left me disappointed that I wasn't old enough to vote, and equally frustrated when they lost.

Seeing women doing the same jobs as men, I felt empowered and believed through them, that I too could do anything.

Growing up during the ending run of the second wave feminist movement, my young and naïve mind believed we had won. We had won some long hard-fought battle against the patriarchy and women were finally equal, after all the television and magazine world seemed to be packed full of brilliant, strong & intelligent women rattling the cages of oppression and ringing in feminism.

Gloria Steinman was a household name, and Ms. magazine was often found on our coffee table. Comedian's like Lily Tomlin and Joan Rivers were in the mainstream, Dolly Parton left Porter Wagoner and struck out on her own to an unprecedented success. Stevie Nicks was leading Fleetwood Mac in sold out venues, Sandra Day O'Connor was appointed to the Supreme Court and Madeleine Albright became Secretary of State. While these women were few and far between, I believed nothing was impossible.

These women weren't my heroes, they were my possible and they all looked like me.

I was a white kid living in the projects, on the outskirts of hope and opportunity, and I always knew I could and would get out. The young women of color around me, didn't have this multitude of successful women that looked like them. They didn't have this ingrained expectation of success to fill their pores with possibilities and triumph.

It's not that women of color haven't done extraordinary things or found insurmountable success throughout the history of the world, they indeed have. Unfortunately, you have to look hard to find them. Stories written down, yet not repeated get lost in the winds of change. History tends to linger in the stories that are told and taught in our schools, our movie theaters, around our dinner tables and on the nightly news.

If the stories of Harriet Tubman, Madame C.J. Walker, Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vauhn, Mary Jackson, and Shirley Chisholm aren't taught to the next generation, they disappear into the background noise and someone calls it progress.

While poet Maya Angelou's autobiography, 'I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings', spoke to all women and young girls, her oration of 'On the Pulse of Morning', during President Clinton's inauguration was unprecedented, and little black and brown girls were paying attention.

Oprah Winfrey rose to the top with the admiration of most women. Like many others, her story and success weren't without hard work and sacrifice, and she soon became a long-awaited example that success doesn't have to be measured by color or gender alone.

Tarana Burke hatched the #metoo hashtag to show young survivors of sexual assault they were not alone. It has grown to a national movement for women of all colors and socioeconomic position, the fact a black woman sits at the helm isn't lost on black and brown girls, who are disproportionately affected by sexual violence.

From memoir writer to editor, New York Time's bestseller Roxane Gay has not gone unnoticed among women eagerly searching for representation in the often pale waters of publishing success.

The rise of film maker Ava Duvernay for her incredible work behind 'When They See Us', and Pulitzer winning journalism of Nikole Hannah-Jones for her groundbreaking '1619 Project', women of color are finding true to life inspiration in women like them.

The nomination and successful election of America's first female Vice President has broken a multitude of barriers simultaneously. Kamala Harris isn't just the first female, she's the first black, the first Indian, the first bi-racial Vice President of the United States. While this is exciting for all women, for little black and brown girls looking for role models that look like them, it's so much more.

Representation matters. Seeing yourself in others doesn't just sew empathy or understanding, it can weave ambition and determination into your DNA. It can mirror a future never imagined.

Held up high, by the many women who have carved a path in the hardest of stone, Kamala is that mirror. Every little girl and young woman, from every walk of life and every color can now see themselves where they once never dared to dream.

 

A Woman Like Me also posted to medium.com

<https://trmugler.medium.com/a-woman-like-me-5f67481df2fb> 

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Sometimes the Smallest Voice Wins

Born the 14th of September 1934, in St. Paul Minnesota, Kate Millet's mother never could have predicted that her little girl would one day change the world and its view of women.

 

Earning a Bachelor degree from the University of Minnesota, a Master's with first class honors from University of Oxford and a Phd from Columbia University, Millet herself couldn't have foreseen the path she would pave.[1]

 

A writer and an artist, Millet didn't long for the spotlight, she merely wanted to tell her truths as she saw them. Publishing ten books by 2001, she continued to write and publish articles in notable formats until 2014, always strong in her analysis and unwavering in her beliefs she continued to crash waves upon the shores of women's oppression.[2]

 

Most notably known for her 1970 book Sexual Politics, based on her doctorial dissertation of the same name, Millet challenged and changed how society viewed the patriarchy and its overall subjugation of women. Its unpredicted success catapulted her into the forefront of the women's liberation movement, much to the disdain of other prominent feminists like Betty Friedan.

 

Although some sought to discredit Millett as a true feminist after she came out as bisexual, she continued to fight the good fight, writing groundbreaking works on political torture, prostitution and mental illness.

 

Passing away on September 6, 2017, she left her mark not only on the women she met, but on those she never crossed paths with. Across the country and across the globe, her strength and courage to demand something better rippled into an ocean of change that continues today.

 

On this National Coming Out Day, it seems only right that one of the often forgotten warriors is shown a bit of gratitude for living her truths in such a way as to create the possibility others can too.



[1] https://www.britannica.com/biography/Kate-Millett

 
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_Millett

 

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The Muddy Waters of a Right to Life

America was leading the way in eugenics long before Adolf Hitler came to power. The forced sterilization and refusal to provide access to safe, legal contraception is just another dark layer of America's continued war on women, hidden in the shadows of the past. 

Follow the link for 'Op-Eds' to read my latest or copy/paste the link below.

 


https://medium.com/@tamimugler/the-muddy-waters-of-a-right-to-life-71538ed529f5?sk=36d06f796761af3c88a260e01fa4aeef

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Talent Through Generations

Author Patricia Highsmith (1921-1995) most known for her psychological suspense novels, including the Tom Ripley series, is one of those writers that has literally (or is it literarily?) stood the test of time.  

 

Her first novel, quickly became her first success. Strangers on a Train, optioned by Alfred Hitchcock for his 1951 film of the same name, launched Highsmith's career and set her on course to become one of the most prolific suspense writers of all time. Strangers on a Train has become the 'standard' for the quid pro quo of suspense.

 

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the incomparable Talented Mr. Ripley. Her five book series details an insatiable appetite for all things others have, as Tom Ripley's uncanny ability to morph into just about anyone, leads us down a winding road of morality and deception, not hesitating to leave a trail of bodies in its wake. Highsmith taps into the disturbed psyche in ways most writers don't.

 

While most crime and suspense novels take you on a clue finding mission to discover who was in the library with the knife, you never have to 'guess whodunnit', in a Highsmith novel. Knowing, however, never leaves you unsatisfied as her rapid page turning tales grip you and pull you into the very core of what makes us all human, and the disturbed psyche it takes to commit the most sadistic of acts.

 

For me, her most brilliant work lies within the pages of a lesser known cult fiction success 'The Price of Salt', published under the pseudonym 'Claire Morgan' in 1952. The groundbreaking story was a first to give LGBTQ readers a 'success' story.

 

Forbidden love had never been told in such a realistic and engaging way. Taking you on a journey with two woman from different social classes, it weaves a tale not all that uncommon in the lives of its readers. Marriage, children, innocence, deception and insuppressable emotion carries the reader to the proverbial sunset of happy endings.

No one committed suicide, was arrested or converted by the love of a good man in the end, instead it left its readers with an open ended feel that it was possible to live 'happily ever after', no matter who you love. 

 

From page to screen may have taken 15 years after first optioned, however the Todd Haynes 2015 film, 'Carol' was widely received. Brilliantly written by Phyllis Nagy, along with cinematographer Edward Lachman's unbeatable talent, quickly became one of the most phenomenal love stories ever told on screen. Like the book, it has sparked global inspiration among women, feminists and the LGBTQ community at large, leaving us all wanting more!

 

We just may get our wish, the literary estate holders are slated to release a compilation of Highsmith's diaries in 2021. Promising not to wash over some of the tasteless and bigoted beliefs Highsmith held, it will include, in her own words, how she viewed herself, her sexuality and much of the rest of the world. 

 

Though not a sequel or prequel to Carol, it's certain to give us all a little more of the author herself and the workings of her unique and brilliant mind. 

 

2021 will mark 71 years since Strangers on a Train was first published, and 26 years since the author's passing, yet the Talented Ms. Highsmith continues to hold court in the daring and suspenseful world of the human psyche.

 

 

 

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